by Dr Bronwyn Leigh
We wish society talked about more openly about Perinatal Intrusive Thoughts.
We don’t talk about them nearly enough. And a little trigger warning here that thoughts of infant harm are going to be mentioned.
Intrusive thoughts are scary, unwanted thoughts or images that suddenly pop into a parent’s mind, often involving accidental harm coming to the baby, like dropping them or the baby slipping under the bath water.
They are very common in the perinatal period. Research suggests that all new mothers experience intrusive thoughts about accidental harm, and around half experience thoughts about intentionally harming their baby. These thoughts are usually deeply upsetting precisely because mothers love their babies and want to keep them safe.
In many ways they are part of our brain’s safety system, keeping us alert to potential danger. Importantly, there is no evidence that mothers who experience these unwanted intrusive thoughts go on to act on them.
Most parents are able to let the thoughts pass, but if they become sticky or distressing, support can really help. Perinatal psychologists work with this often, and no parent should feel they have to suffer in silence. Fathers can experience these thoughts too.
About the Author
Dr Bronwyn Leigh is a clinical psychologist, perinatal and infant clinician and early parenting consultant. She is the Director of the Centre for Perinatal Psychology. Bronwyn is an expert in the psychological aspects of becoming a parent, the emotional development of infants, and parent-infant relationships.
