by Dr Bronwyn Leigh
Bonding with Baby — Pregnancy Edition for Dads
Most dads find they entertain their own private wonderings about baby during the pregnancy. Because you are one step removed from baby, dads find they need their pregnant partner to share some things about baby’s movements as a way tohelp get to know baby.
Many dads also start to develop a way of communicating with baby as the pregnancy progresses: when baby is showing signs of alertness by moving, dads often sing, talk or read to baby.
Getting to know your baby happens over time.
Here are some tips for feeling connected and caring with your baby.
- Track your baby’s development with a weekly tracker. This helps you to follow their development and helps you hold them in mind.
- Ask your partner to tell you about the baby’s movements: what does she feel, what physical sensations does she experience when baby moves, kicks, hiccups. Your partner acts as a bridge between you and baby, helping you to get to know each other through her.
- Interacting with your baby when s/he kicks, moves or hiccups helps you feel connected. Take pleasure and delight in these things when you can. Pause for a moment and lean into the fun of it.
- Singing and talking to baby in utero also helps you connect, and baby will recognise your voice after birth. Talk / sing softly as it can be loud for baby in there!
- Stay Curious: Try to be curious and wondering about your baby, even though you can’t be sure who they are yet.
If you are not feeling excited about baby yet, don’t worry, there’s time. Focus on ways to get to know baby, to get ready for baby practically, and also the protective things you are doing for baby such as caring for your partner and ensuring her health and therefore health of baby – all of those things are part of stepping into a fathering role and bonding with baby.
About the Author
Dr Bronwyn Leigh is a clinical psychologist, perinatal and infant clinician and early parenting consultant. She is the Director of the Centre for Perinatal Psychology. Bronwyn is an expert in the psychological aspects of becoming a parent, the emotional development of infants, and parent-infant relationships.
